Dealing with a strong willed child is really difficult.....
I found this post I made awhile back, and although I've mentioned some of this before, I think I'll share again and add some more. :)
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One thing the Lord is teaching me is to be more "positive" instead of "negative.
The other thing is what I call "LIFF"......
1.Loving (showing it with quality time, hugs/touch, gifts, service,
genuine admiration and praise)
2.In Control (not yelling or slapping, etc....without anger)
3.Fair (not giving spankings or punishments that seem overly harsh to the child)
4.Firm and consistent (This one is a very difficult thing to do with a strong-willed child...but oh so important!)
Another thing I'm learning is to let the child have "time-out" to cool down before I talk to him/discipline him. Lately I've been letting the child come to me when they're ready for their discipline....unless it gets to be way too long....That way they have a little time for the Lord to work on their hearts and help them to truly be sorry first, rather than angry.
"Negative discipline" will do no good if it doesn't produce a change of heart. And I think some children will NEVER have a change of heart, no matter how hard the discipline is unless the KNOW they are loved. That's why "positive discipline" is also so very important. By that I mean....genuine PRAISE...and lots of it!
I may be wrong about this, but I've found that strong-willed children need to know that their parents are "hurt" by their sin. If they are not "perceiving" your love and your sorrow, you may not be able to change their behavior no matter how hard your discipline is. A parent may love his child, but if the child is not PERCEIVING it, it will do no good. You must do the 5 love languages continually and even MORE until you know that he knows that he is loved. :) And once again, I emphasize genuine praise.
Many children will be "bad" just to get their parent's attention. They crave it so much....and will be "bad" if they are not being praised for what they do "right".
By the way, this is the way to produce lambs instead of "kids". :)
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